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How do experts tell the difference? One major clue is if you spend most of the day consumed by sexual urges, fantasies, and activities. Another is if you spend an excessive amount of time engaged in sex, to the extent that it leads to adverse consequences like getting fired or losing custody of your kids. “We also need to do a careful assessment to determine what seems to be causing the problem,” says Coleman who treats about 100 new patients a year for hypersexuality.
For instance, a sexless marriage that drives a spouse to prostitutes or serial affairs may not indicate a psychological disorder. Nor does a porn or masturbation habit. “I’ve seen young single men who want me to treat their compulsive behavior of masturbating several times a week, which goes against their religious values,” says Coleman. “But they really have a conflict with their internal value system, not a mental problem.”